I don't tuck the sheets into the corners of the mattress the way you do, but I am tucking away those moments we want to preserve, smooth out, and grow from. I am continually surprised by how you draw me in. Sometimes when you are asleep and the black room takes on shapes that make me blink in the dark, I turn to you and put my hand on your heart. How is it that you are always warm?
From the beginning of this You and Me Story, you have always been warm. We are different in every sense of the word. You see the world in puzzles and you figure out how things work. You desire to know the intricate processes and works of His fingers and you let your mind dive into that mess of wonder. You are order, I am chaos. I see this world in deep pools of unknowns that I don't dare to explore. I don't know how the television works and I will never understand why we have two remotes. I will always resort to hitting technology instead of figuring out a solution.
From day 1, I have been captured by your adventure seeking heart. You know me, and you know that I hate to get in the ocean until I am shoulder deep, lips purple, feet pumping and I am smiling in gulps of salt water, pitifully floating toward you, my anchor. You hear me on my dark days when I cannot move from the couch; you come home, do the dishes, and put me to bed. You remind me that tomorrow is new. You remind me of His faithfulness and that He rejoices and delights in those little feats, those little celebrations and obstacles overcome that bring Him glory in the every day.
Thinking about our move to Houston in June is hard. I am reminded of your coming absence during those long training months, especially when I can't open jars or motivate myself to be diligent and efficient with my time, to be joyful. But you know better. You know it will be good for us, that it will be good for me.
I love our secret world meetings, our cold walks, and that you prepare food fit for kings when I would be happy eating hard rice. I'm glad you bought that Bon Iver record and that you make me eat at the table like a big girl. I will always love that you don't settle for living a life wasted, that you have a reverence for the Holy One that humbles me on all sides. When my words are harsh and emotionally splattered every where, you pick up the pieces of my rattled mind and you are voice of reason. You are level headed, gentle in heart, and strong enough to sling me over your shoulder when I am silly. I love that we play, and that I can be stupid and make you laugh when you're serious.
I don't know what it is that makes your eyes soften, but you are the best at making me feel lovely, desired, and capable of doing and being whatever it is I am called to do and be. Please know, sweet love, that I am falling more in love with you every day, even as we become new individuals, different than who we were.
If you like it freezing cold in the apartment, I will wear socks to sleep every night for the rest of my life.
Happy six monthiversary, my sweet Husband.
** Linking up with Amber Haines: Marriage Letters | The Run a Muck **