I wake every day expecting a do-over.
I expect freedom, endless amounts of time and grace. I expect forgiveness from everyone around me when I mess up. I expect another day to get it right, to somehow live out the perfect day salted with the balanced amount of work-out routines, passionate writing that awakens the heart, intimate time in communion with the Father, sweet time with my husband in which I listen instead of demand more, creative epiphanies that make each moment come to life and stir my heart in all the right ways, fellowship with people I've been away from... I expect that if I work hard enough, it will all fall into place as I want it to, and the busy to-do-list will be rewarding and I'll get all of the laundry folded. I imagine it working out perfectly, and I somehow always think I can get to this place.
Needless to say, I am a foolish woman.
Before I wake, I must ask and answer the question, "Whose are you?"
Before I do anything, I must ask God the Father to inflame my heart with a desire and yearning for Him, that I would be filled with a zeal for His name, that He would clearly direct me today because each day is a gift. Since I dropped out of graduate school, I've been consumed with time to reflect on the meditations of my heart. I've been faced with the beautiful truth that each day is a blessing and I get to live in the joy and peace of Christ! There is no room for living with the drive that tomorrow will be better, perfect - and that today doesn't matter. We cannot live by the standards of perfection and I will never be satisfied pursuing "the perfect day." Thankfully there is one who is perfect, and when we are with Him, there will be endless perfect days. This life will always hold the tension of joy and toil, spirit and flesh. This is a healthy discontentment that points to a real longing in our hearts. I pray that today, your heart along with mine will rest in what's to come and the the truth we proclaim as a body of believers: that is, Christ has died. Christ has risen. Christ will come again.
I pray these words will encourage you to continue on with faith in the One whose work on the cross will never require a do-over. Praise God!